A Parent's Biggest Temptation

Being the parent of a child or multiple children is an incredibly hard and time demanding job.  I know...I am one too.

However, as hard as it is to juggle children, I believe there is an even harder thing for parents to do during the wonderful time God blesses us with the upbringing of these children.  It is simply this:

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Making sure your spouse is the most important relationship in your life outside of your relationship with God.

When your children are young, you attend their every need.  They need to be fed.  They need to be burped.  They need their diaper changed.  They...just need everything.

And that's how it begins...the need of time and attention starts with the parents being attentive to every cry of their child and celebrating every joy, like their first steps, and the first time they poop on the potty (can I get an "Amen"?).

Life begins to revolve around this (or these) little bundles of joy.  As they begin to grow and can do more (and get into more stuff), we find our lives staying just as occupied with our children as ever before.  Walking turns into running, running turns into sports or ballet or piano lessons or...well I am sure that you can fill in the blank.

Before you know it, your schedule is filled with carting children from one activity to another (sometimes in separate places).  Because we are over scheduled or just ragged from all the running around, we begin to break down and berate our spouses because this event or activity wasn't made or because our children are in trouble (in grades, with the wrong crowd, disrespecting one or both parents, etc).  We argue and fight with our spouse while trying to maintain a good relationship with our children, who we seem to get along with better.

Somewhere along the way, inadvertently, we have put more value into our children, who are only with us for a time, than to the one whom we have committed our lives to.

We have somehow convinced ourselves that we are doing our children a disservice if they don't have this opportunity or that opportunity that we either did or didn't have as a child.

I believe that if we learned to say "no" to our children more and "yes" to our spouses more, we would have healthier marriages and healthier kids.  In the end, your kids don't need basketball or track or debate or whatever...  What they truly need is the love of Christ modeled through a loving relationship of a husband who will love his wife and give himself for her (not the children) and a wife that will respect her husband and the leadership he brings into a home.  (Eph. 5:21-33)

Saying "yes" to your spouse more might just be the exact thing that your children really need so they will know how to do the same when they are grown.  And honestly, isn't that the type of kids you want.


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